Lifestyles of the Almost Famous

Where is the Love?

Amy Winehouse does it again.

Wow, we were feeling kind of bad that we were all like ragging on kanye west and then it turns out we are not the only ones in a fight with him, it is kind of like world war three: KANYE AGAINST THE WORLD. So yesterday, Amy Winehouse was at glastonbury performing before Jay Z went on (which was, of course, very controversial for whatever reason) and she was all like, why you hate jay? at least he's not a see you next tuesday like that douchebag kanye. If you don't trust me, here is the real quote:

"Let’s hear it for Jay-Z. The man has got bollocks to come here, and play the tunes you don’t even know you remember. Imagine if it was a cunt like Kanye West. ‘Cunts like Kanye’ - that should be his next album title."

(Kanye responded on his blog: "THIS JUST IN...Amy Whinehouse hates me!!! Now I've really made it!!! Lol" No message, no link, just that simple title. Do you think the spelling of the name is a typo? Me neither.)

Other than that, Amy gave a focused performance, only punching one audience member in the face.

Looks like she is recovering well!

Jay-Z rose above the drama (or fed into it) with the following cover to open up his set:

No one there really knew his songs much but they did seem to know all the words to Wonderwall!
Jay-1 Oasis-0? Oasis-1 Jay-Z- 0? Tie? British folk are tough to understand.

**UPDATE:**
Addressing the crowd yesterday:

"For those of you who ain't got the memo my name is Jay-Z and I'm pretty fucking awesome"

I think we have our answer.

HERE IS THE LINE, AND YOU JUST CROSSED IT.

once he is through with me

I know we are in a fight, but you cannot insult my good friend and almost cousin Kanye like this. OH NO. EVEN IF HE DOES WRONG.

So I just went on PEREZ to see if, oh you know, he had already posted that new Lily Allen song or if he was ignoring it, and I see this headline:

KANYE NEEDS TO EAT A DICK! -Perez Hilton.

followed by some trashy pictures of Kanye licking up on some girls, which, while crude, are obviously out of context and from a bad time when Kanye was mourning his mother's death/his breakup/our falling out.

I mean what the hell is your problem PEREZ?

I know I was a little bit upset over what Kanye had to say about Soulja Boy too, but Perez once again takes it too far. He is a meanie, like the kid on the playground who finds embarrassing pictures of you and then goes on paint and uses some tool to draw dirty white pictures and slogans all over you, and then when you go to tell the teacher, he's like, what, can't you take a joke? and you want to insult him but you know that he can insult you right back and way worse. But guess what? I am ALMOST FAMOUS for a reason. to be unneccessarily angry and have no risk of being quoted all over the internet for it. SO there.

Sleep with one eye open Perez.

(On a completely different note, happy to know I posted that quote a full day before Perez got his hands on it)

Lily Allen, Go You!

I always kind of just ignored Lily Allen because Perez is like obsessed with her, and he talks about her and I'm not really interested in the small group he reports about consistently (see Rumor Willis), but I just now realized that she is kind of cool. She has this new song, "Guess Who Batman?" that just makes me smile. I can't post it here but you can see it on her myspace and here are some lyrics

Your point of view is midieval Fuck you, fuck you very very much because we hate what you do... please don't stay in touch.

But you have to listen to it because it will just crack you up, so sweet sounding.

And once I got a little bit of a closer look at her blogs, I found a gem cursing out Perez. And she seems very right. On multiple counts. She even seems pretty honest, which makes Perez look really mean:

So, I'm a little upset today, Perez Hilton is a mean man. I don't know what I did to piss him off but the last few months he has launched a bit of a tirade against me, I can understand why he'd write "MESS" across my head on a picture of me being carried out of an awards ceremony drunk out of my mind, but some things he say baffle me...

I read these posts on his website about anti – bullying campaigns and all these good causes, and while I used to enjoy reading his site it seems to me that recently he has become what he hates so much, a bully.

Lily Allen, Go you!

Poor Amy. They Told Her to Go to Rehab But She Said No No No.

Poor Amy Winehouse has just been diagnosed with emphysema.

My first concern was for her and her family of course, and unlike Perez I have never said or thought anything negative about the girl, and I hope she starts thinking about her health, yada yada, all the things I am supposed to say.

But my second concern was for poor Mr. Nelson Mandela.

I mean, he was probably really pumped about having her perform at his 90th birthday party, and who knows if that is still on now. And Nellie Mandelie will be left with Leona Lewis as his main form of star power. Total bummer. He deserves better.

And Don't Tell Me Your Sorry 'Cause You're Not

I hesitate to write this. Really I do. It pains me. The only thing that makes me feel even a little bit better about this is that at this point people only check this blog when they are really bored and they think, hey, maybe I should just check because maybe, maybe, there will be a new post, and odds are like one in three that it might be amusing. So, here I go. with a heavy heart.

Kanye and I are in a big fight.

We have been having problems for a while now, and I admit he had some reasons for being upset with me. And I with him.

1. My watch, my main form of communication with the boy, broke while I was in New Orleans last week. I thought I lost him when he fell off, and, although he was returned to me, it hasn't really been the same since. But don't cry momma, because I know I can fix it, I just don't really have the stomach to talk to him right now.

2. He scheduled a new concert in Foxwoods, and I was all like this is how I can finally get back in his good graces, but then even with my presale code, which i paid a hefty $24.99 for, I went to the foxwoods website to find a totally sold out concert. Not that I care.

3. Without my constant attention and feedback, his blog has gone in a downward spiral of trash, and although his most faithful readers don't seem to mind, I can't help but be majorly disappointed.

He has been posting many images that look like this:

and this:

and this:

I mean, I hate to say trashy, and I hate to say I liked him better when he was engaged to Alexis whatever but, I mean really, if i see one more picture of his model of the day. And that cheap comic book trick is getting a little bit old. Really, Kanye?? And the first girl is is alleged girlfriend, best known as the girl Nick Cannon dated before marrying Mariah.

4. He got to bonnaroo so late the other day that he had the crowd shouting "Kanye Sucks". And I just kept my mouth shut, did not support him and if you want a good performance you can wait a couple extra minutes. I even thought to myself, "wow, kanye is really sucking".

5. "Soulja boy is fresh ass hell and is actually the true meaning of what hip hop is sposed to be...That song was so dope cause everything he said had a hidden meaning... that's Nas level shit... "

REALLY?

I could go on with points six through 20 but I am starting to feel a little nervous, the scar on my forehead is starting to hurt and I know that you-know-who is very angry with what I just wrote.

Shout Out To The Book Drive.

no intro necessary.

"I know I did good when my boss two wayed me. Side kicked me."

even kanye is proud (jealous probs, but proud too.)

Let's Just Pretend That Break Never Happened.

(I'm sorry. And you all understand, so don't even pretend you don't.)

But i've got something real special tonight, and you may say, "But that is from three months ago" and I say, If I didn't report it, it doesn't exist. And I know you haven't been checking other blogs while I've been gone. Right? Feel free to pretend this post came March 19 if you want. The clock doesn't tick if I tell it to stop

Anyway, DMX has something to say, and I thought it fit in well with recent events.

So here it goes, an interview in XXL (I KNOW IT IS LATE BUT GIVE A DOG A FRICKIN' BONE ONCE AND A WHILE, AND THANK YOUR LUCKY STARS I CAME BACK TO YOU.)

Are you following the presidential race?
Not at all.

You’re not? You know there’s a Black guy running, Barack Obama and then there’s Hillary Clinton.
His name is Barack?!

Barack Obama, yeah.
Barack?!

Barack.
What the fuck is a Barack?! Barack Obama. Where he from, Africa?

Yeah, his dad is from Kenya.
Barack Obama?

Yeah.
What the fuck?! That ain’t no fuckin’ name, yo. That ain’t that nigga’s name. You can’t be serious. Barack Obama. Get the fuck outta here.

You’re telling me you haven’t heard about him before.
I ain’t really paying much attention.

I mean, it’s pretty big if a Black…
Wow, Barack! The nigga’s name is Barack. Barack? Nigga named Barack Obama. What the fuck, man?! Is he serious? That ain’t his fuckin’ name. Ima tell this nigga when I see him, “Stop that bullshit. Stop that bullshit” [laughs] “That ain’t your fuckin’ name.” Your momma ain’t name you no damn Barack.

So you’re not following the race. You can’t vote right?
Nope.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. I have to say, that's pretty refreshing. Enough to erase the pain of abandonment, maybe?