the inner garden blog

resistance

" . .  joy is only possible when we greet all energetic circumstances equally . . .

In the most simplistic terms, the main character of (a) negative emotional charge is that it is uncomfortable (& that the body rejects it by manifesting resistance through physical symptoms).  it is trapped, blocked energy. it is often the childhood impulse for joy that has been limited, judged, withheld from our consciousness

our resistance to its inherent compulsion to move causes friction & this friction causes heat to seep into every aspect of our life experience.  this internal heat literally causes our life to become hell.  we are so used to this inner heat that we often do not even know it is occurring

yet, outwardly we manifest a reflection of this inner heat in our outer world.  our outer experience has become a veritable cesspool of combustion.  We mold our outer experiences by heating them up, by boiling them and by burning them.  we practically heat all of our food, and many of the liquids we drink, from coffee to alcohol, generate heat in our experience.  many of the substances we are addicted to eating, like sugar, cause heat in our body.  we even created cigarettes, a means to burn and heat up the air that we breathe.  our outer forms cannot move through this world without this process of combustion . . . our intense resistance to being authentic fans the flames of this resistance . . .  "

~ the presence process by michael brown

i do not publish this lightly.  i know it is overwhelming.  i was so struck by the above statement, read just a few months ago, 2 years after i began this journey of changing both my diet and my life after the serendipitous trip to wigmore with my sweetheart in february 07.  All i knew at that time was that when i did as I was told (which i only did because it was the only food available, i knew nothing about raw or living detox or diet, i was just going for a whole lot of lovin & the beach & the sun & away from NYC), i ate the food, i drank the rejuvelac & coconut water, i got the multiple colonics . . . & slowly, or not so slowly, as mentioned in another blog post, the joy came back to the surface . . i didn't even know that it was missing . .

but i definitely knew when it was back, or not back, it felt so new it was hard to know that i was actually remembering something . . . .

suddenly i was writing everyday, early in the morning & whenever i could fit it in & i spontaneously began an even earlier in the morning meditation practice, in the middle of the night, one that sprung from the loins of me ;), deep inside, organically, without any prior training or inspiration, like breathing, a practice that continues to grow today

& as i have mentioned all too often in my classes & here, i am def no angel, i crave the cooked stuff still & eat it with semi-regularity, but i always miss the joy & i know where to find it & the magnet of this joy keeps me coming back to the clarity, the simplicity of green, like home

in the last six months, kingsley & i have been working with the book quoted above, the presence process, a ten week meditation practice that breaks down into fairly simple weekly lessons that you can sit with on your own without moderation, lessons that in turn break down how you learned what you believe about yourself & about the world that surrounds you, your everything . . . & bit by bit, if you allow yourself, you begin to see that there is a whole lot more room to your the everything that you have always believed to be you, to be your life . . like those dreams you have when you realize that there is a door somewhere in the home that you have lived in all these years & just beyond the threshold is an immense & beautifully appointed ballroom, marble floors that you just swim on, float on, no fly . . yeah, kind of like that . . . something you never saw before

the new beauty

"pretty is something you're born with. but beautiful, that's an equal opportunity adjective"  ~ louise brooks

  "cleanse the heart & the body will follow. cleanse the body & the heart will follow"   ~ natalia rose

"as an avid observer of trends and trend predictions, i have noted a significant shift in what we find beautiful in our culture. instead of continuing to value youth for the sake of youth & flawlessness for the sake of flawlessness, I find that as people “awaken” they are starting to look less for commonly held ideals of perfection in terms of how their eyes discern external beauty & are more attracted to 1) beauty that shines from within & manifests without in the form of a fresh, natural glow & 2) an authenticity: personal authenticity is much cooler & hipper than being contrived or trying to fit an image

any good art designer or plastic surgeon can produce a “perfect” image (which is really only based on the mode of the moment anyway). the new beauty is one that shines from within. the new beauty makes us feel good, it’s not just some image of commonly accepted perfection that we are conditioned to consider beauty. clarity & love is the new beauty &, over time, those who embody unconditional love & increase the love-light within themselves will be seen to be (& actually will be) physically more attractive. plastic surgery, chemicals & the like place more density and poison in our being. with your new energy body, you will naturally blossom into enhanced visual beauty too!

i already see my contemporaries preferring to be around others that are pure of purpose & of spirit. the people that i know of that are leaders & think for themselves are choosing friends, dates & mates who embody this inner beauty first; beauty for the sake of beauty is not “de rigeur” & will eventually be recognized as meaningless as more & more people awaken to the illusion of the old beauty . . .

as the world stands now, it may be hard for you to imagine that this shift could be taking place. but, i am certain that this is where beauty-consciousness is going. . . an authentic glow coming from dropping old patterns, aggression and fears and truly being oneself is the new hot . . . "

 

~ natalia rose

mind over matter

"the mind plays an important role in the eating process. . .our attitudes & beliefs about what we are eating are at least as important as what we are eating. it is possible to overcome the natural laws by thinking positively that even junk foods  may become nourishing. i do not particularly recommend this practice, however, because

it has us spending energy trying to overcome the natural laws rather than living in harmony with them

although the mind IS stronger than matter

it requires extra energy & focus to convert junk food into something nutritious . .

for most people this doesn't work too well . . & can become a way of avoiding the healing process . .

author & religious leader Terry Cole Whittiker, who teaches the power of mind over matter in everyday life, once taught that it did not matter what one ate because it can be transmuted by the mind. . . the question can be asked

"is this a worthwhile way to spend one's valuable mental energy

by using it to overcome the effects of junk (sic) food intake?"

once Terry Cole Whittiker experienced the power & higher vibration of a raw food diet, true to her dedication to her own evolution, she adopted more of a live-food diet.  since being on such a high powered diet, she has lost 50 pounds & feels at least that many years younger in vitality . .

god, through nature, has given us the natural nutritional kingdom, so why try to fruitlessly transform the worthless dust of junk food into the precious gold of whole, raw, organic food?

though blessing one's food, can transform any edible item into a higher vibration food

why not seek & eat the highest vibration food to begin with?"

~gabriel cousens "conscious eating"~

now everyone knows how much i get turned on by a field of green

& i am not being cute

it wasn't always this way, i used to call it rabbit food & didn't think a meal was complete without a bowl of spaghetti & a few loaves of crusty bread, which actually sounds pretty great right now lying in my bed & i also have to admit i woke up this morning & had a couple of brownies with my tea, right in my bed w/ my computer . . even before my shower, which is the way i like my dessert

first thing in the morning, on a clean palate

but this is something i have been thinking about a lot, slightly in the reverse of the cousens thinking & not re: food but re: relationships

how much what we think affects our experience, how much what we think affects our ability to absorb love

what are our filters from our life experience

continuing the food/nutrient analogy: it is as if, by the lessons of our youth, we were able to actually shut down the access of our blood to our food . . the food is there but the active transport of the nutrients from the digestive love system into the blood & out to our vital love organs is blocked because we can't help ourselves from thinking:

it's not good enough
we're not good enough
it's not in the right package
we're not ready

we should be somewhere else

something else should be happening
i can't
I AM NOT EVERYTHING