may 18

prophecy/together in the day

sue

(so glad you came back)
(the camera didn't work last year)(at harvey nix)
(although our hearts did)(you were with your mom)
(she was lovely)(the part I remember distinctly was you
choosing the photograph of jules was she was little
on christmas holding the doll between the palms of
her hands)(cherishing the doll)(so privately)
(I brought that picture with me this year)
(your honoring that moment made me cherish it)
(you actually chose another jules picture)
(jules dancing with a little maid's apron)
(lace & ruffles)(& bunny ears)
(this year we lunched together in the shack)
(like ladies)(you carbonara)(me risotto)
(and you told me about your life)(your work)
(your love)(your redhead)(who freckles in the sun)
(you used the word compassionate about 1000 times)
(I loved you for it)
(how can one misappropriate the word soul)
(we are all soul)
(soul provider)(reaching across)
(morrissey irish blood english heart)
(richard strauss 4 last songs elizabeth schwarzkopf)
(your grandmother the first woman to wear trousers in her village)
(in 1937)
(denounced by the vicar from the pulpit)
(you & your man traveling to scotland to consummate your love)
(to hold hands in the forest)
(to visit his tree)(a tree named joe strummer)
(future forests of love)
(home)(separate but together)
(together)
(miniature schnauzer)

msfullphat

(you brought me a blanket)
(from your mother's home)(not the blanket)
(you told me your mother was in a wheelchair)
(I believe you said something akin to alzheimer's)
(you want to be with her)(you are with her as much as you can)
(the money)(the house)(the work)(the kids)
(the organisation as organism)(love & struggle & contact)
(oh my god I so understand)(the wanting to be more)
(to be there)(and there)(and there)
(the young people)(you corrected me when I said kids)
(I didn't take it harshly)(I heard you)(not to demean)(to respect)
(your daughter)(beautiful)(you are even closer now she is a woman)
(manchester a harsh place)(a crack to her eye)(her beauty)
(our children are vulnerable)
(your son)(all sinew & muscle & youth)(he will remember)
(you)(respect)
(every child is our child)(& from me you can trust that)

(your love poem)
(from your blog)(find msfullphat here)

look out.....
over there, in their eyes it speaks
volumes
each unique gaze of love

returning

(respect)
(trust)

victoria

(I squeezed you in)

(how could I say no to you)(you kept coming back)
(so patient)(& you wanted it)
(I need to remember that)(to see the one standing in front of me)
(who is ready)(& not to focus on the one that doesn't come)
(the one that just won't have me)
(you told me you retired from being an english teacher early)
(at age 25)(& you were spending your retirement funds)
(finding who you were)(you seemed more than happy)
(bursting)(you were so beautiful)
(we talked kids books)(i captured the castle)
(his dark materials)(weetzie bat)
(we talked darkness through to redemption)
(in a teenage head)(between us)
(thank you)
(release)

barry

(I last saw you at armistead)
(there was no ticket there for me)
(you gave me one of yours)(whose was it)(who were you planning to sit with)
(you were so fragile sitting next to me that night)(we didn't speak)
(your knee jingled)(I could feel how tired you were)
(you came to the shack)(you said we don't have to have an appointment)
(we could just sit somewhere & have a coffee)
(I said it is all an appointment)
(we started on the couch)(you told me about your sister & her illness)
(your partner & his mother)(we eased our way into the shack rather seamlessly)
(you brought me a fabric of love)(you told me your stories)
(I was able to love you easily)(I already loved you)(through all our business)
(perfunctory emails signed with love)
(the dogs)(the love)(peru at sunrise)(swimming w the dolphins)
(the zebras & giraffes out your window at disney)
(waving to your girlfriend from your window at college)
(finding her)
(those eyes)(I saw you fill out those eyes)
(love)

yvonne

(you present yourself so professionally)
(so impeccably)(I was surprised how much your presence softened)

(in the shack)(you filled every crack)
(we started so politely)(you brought me a roller skate)
(I interrupted you)(I never heard the source of the skate)
(I have to admit I was tired)(out too late)(I missed our eleven oclock)
(you had cancelled on monday)(& I had cracked a little with you)
(let you see my disappointment & fear that the love shack
would be unloved at contact)(it was just a moment)
(& since that moment)(without me knowing)
(you have been supporting me)(from another infrastructure)
(thank you yvonne)(I could feel it when you were sitting there)
(suddenly we took a turn)(& we were deep in the world of men)
(our love & strength & friendship found this place)
(in understanding the softening)(the vulnerability of masculinity)
(we were so unbelievably clear)(everything moved out of our way)
(the ability of the feminine to contain it)
(we were on the top of a mountain)(in a clearing)
(how did we get there)
(thank you)
(emotional bliss)

paul

(it's funny)(just like sue you came on the day I had no camera last year)
(there is no record of our time)
(but we started where we left off)(kind of)
(because what was begun last year)(the remnants is really just the growing)
(you are flower guy)(not because you know them so well)
(because you grow so beautifully)(without the fear of the withering)
(that is rare & beautiful)
(the attraction of the open & present & sensitive to the open & compulsive
& addicted & brilliant)
(we compared notes)
(in exhilaration)(a whiff of tragedy)(oh well)
(but the art of it)(the exquisite beauty)
(it is the trail of love)(comrade here)
(lovely man)
(embrace)

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