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May 10, 2007

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StaTe oF fLuX

Love,love,love:That is the soul of genius.
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

sTatE oF fLuX

Dear L.A.
I saw love this morning; she was standing across the meadow outside my bedroom window. A translucent green mass of blob before me, I couldn’t see above her, around her or beneath her only thru her.
As I moved closer I could see her immense belly rolling back and forth like one of those wave tanks. Light reflected off that belly. A thousand perhaps millions or even trillions of little twinkling lights danced across her mass and I thought to myself “what a greedy bitch!” I felt myself pulled toward her .Not like a sweetheart playfully grabbing you by your arms and drawing you closer for a kiss. More like a demanding sort of lover, needed and insecure. It felt like she had taken my lower spine, throat and testis in her fist and forcibly moved me forward, against my will. I dropped to my knees before her and felt my face being pushed closer to her belly. Up close I could see that all the dancing little lights were indeed, trees, flowers, insects, animals, wind, fire all of creation and myself looking back at me. Wow, she was beautiful and alluring so why so much resistance from me? I did not want to be a part of her. Yet, I could not stop it. She tightened her grip and shoved me deep into her belly. It felt as if I was immersed in a sea of green jello. As I laid there slowing giving into her will I thought to myself; have we had it wrong all this time? Has love pulled the wool over our eyes? Is it better to be IN- LOVE or have LOVE- IN -US?

the love artist

this is beautiful & brave & I am so grateful that you have taken the time to write this

what I can think of is that both your resistance & the unpleasantness comes from separation, that is the pain

how many times have we felt resentment, resistance, jealousy & other forms of emotional pain when we feel outside, excluded or unable to actualize that growing inside of us

someone once told me that we are only jealous of things/events/people that are actualizations of things we could create or become ourselves, so in that case resistance becomes an indicator of where we must go

so the power in that growing green seemingly devouring blog was you (& I most probably) & your resistance coming from the reminder of that much more you could become or just be by accepting the lack of separation . .

love you state of flux xxx

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