may 20


there's a kind of hush

zadita

(I don't think I told you)(I was really not feeling well)
(it took all the energy & determination inside of me)(to show up)
(I have never missed a day)(it was only one more day)
(you were waiting for me):

love is what brought me here
love is a thought it can flow into our feelings
love can form into action, it gets many different reactions

do we make the choice to act on our love
or does our love have the power to make that choice for us?

love vibrates around us, through us and can lead us astray
astray from loneliness, our deepest fears & insecurities
it can enlighten our souls and bring us closer together

what is love's truest form?

there are so many questions about love and we can gain answers from it too

I'm in love with the idea of love and that's what brought me to you


(you told me love was in everything you did)
(I asked you what an average day in your life was like)
(you said you worked)(in a bar)(in a theater)
(you felt it was easy to love there)(I told you that working in a restaurant
was one of the first places I learned how to love)
(charisma)(things that happen when you're moving too fast to think)
(flow)(just knowing)
(on your way to NY)(celebrate)(run)
(you are in love)(you were private)(you want to be with it)
(you are so powerful)(your physicality)(your power)(was startling)
(embrace)







sunny wray



(sunny wray)(I've been waiting for you)
(& waiting & waiting & waiting)
(baby I know you love me)(I love you back)(but you have to show up)
(you were on your second appointment & I am someone who is always late)(but I started to get all cranky)(strict)(wrangly)
(but  you softened me right up)(who could say no to someone named sunny wray)(we had to jump into each other)(but we've been loving each other all week anyway)(the love is always in the venue for me)
(everyday showing up)(you made my coffee)(you & lou & blue)
(everyday)(you showed me the love)(we sat together)
(you told me about the work you were doing)(that made you late)
(you & borhan & martin & the rest of your gang)
(creativity as a goddess)(fighting the government)(or on the run)
(trying to make love to your creativity)(& also in love with everything that
stands in the way)(at the same time)(the love of weed)(what is it so strong)
(not just you)(the love of distraction)(static)(but there is beauty there too)
(is the addiction the love of your (one's) life or the mistress)(can the mistress be the love)(I told you about my love of addicts)(about the addict I love right now)(reformed)(sober)(but the addict is still in there inside)

live today like you'll die tomorrow
and dream like you'll live forever

james dean

(I have to love it)(I have been it)(I do love it)(I can't judge it)
(I have to see it as beautiful)(not something to be erased)(you have to be everything you are sunny wray)(walk the path)(you are so pure)(just take it all with you & stay clear)(you said epiphany)(be epiphany)(wake up everyday)(universal mother)(in the light)
(me)








john



(we are both exhausted)(working really hard)
(I was glad you came)(yet another one)(who came last year)
(on the last day when the camera didn't work)
(no record)(but in my heart)
(we talked about soul)(shame)(Christianity)(our mothers)
(string theory)(the stress of creativity)(belief in oneself)
(determination)(moving forward)

doubt that the stars are fire
doubt that the sun doth move
doubt truth to be  a liar
but never doubt that I love

thom spanbauer  IN THE CITY OF SHY HUNTERS


(you texted me that the other day)(for nothing)(but me)(I loved it)
(I love thom spanbauer)(the man who fell in love with the moon)
(he calls love the big excrutiating)
(taking care of ourselves & each other)(I cried when I told you about
the youth & heart of contact)(you wiped my mascara from my cheek)
(thank you john)
(happy)








elle

(how can I love you for just one hour)(how can I fit all we are here)
(when you sat across from me last year)(we were vibrating)

creativity is the ability to see relationships where none exist

thomas michael disch

(you wrote me once: don't forget me)
(as if)(that would ever be possible)
(you remind me of the struggle of how to fit in a certain kind of love)
(that doesn't fit anywhere)(not because it is too big)(or too strange)
(but because it is everything)(and in that way it is also nothing)
(in the absolute best possible way)(beyond)
(it is in everything)

it's been said that you cannot give away what you do not have.
one of the most spiritual important insights or secrets in life is that you already have, and always have had, what you need to give away.
we are all already complete and worthy but we cannot know it and experience it, until we give it away.
only giving allows us to know what we are and what we have within.
ask the question – how can I serve?
the intention to serve will point you towards what you need to give.
if the intention is real it also generates the will.

(I needed you so much these weeks)
(we giggle)(we dream)(thanks for the my space intro)(thanks for the beautiful boy)
(raph)(you're doing such a good job)
(you are)
(smooch)
(circle)

salina


(you were the challenge for me)(ms salina)
(you weren't having me)(or maybe it was the idea of love)
(loving on command)(but I could see the love in you)
(from the beginning)(for raph)(& elle)
(your generosity was startling)(it was inspiring)
(we had a sweet time didn't we)
(the dilemma of complex but kind protein)(I wrote things down for you)(giggling)
(being quiet)(you were my last appointment)
(you will come back)(I will come back)
(blossom)